Chemstories – a podcast about PnP/chemsex (English-language edition)
Chemstories is a podcast series created by gay, bisexual, queer men, as well as trans and non-binary people who wish to share their experiences related to chemsex*.
For Chemstories, we worked for over a year with our editorial board made up of individuals with firsthand experience of chemsex. Three members even became hosts for group discussions in their respective cities—Toronto, Montreal, and Halifax—whom you will meet in the upcoming episodes. From the very beginning, it was essential that this podcast be truly by and for the community.
But Chemstories is more than a podcast — it’s the result of a collaborative investigation into the lived realities of chemsex. Together, we set out to explore one central question: "Why is it important for people with lived experience of PnP/chemsex to tell their stories in their own words?"
This question came directly from our editorial board. They saw it as vital — because too often, people with lived experience have been silenced, stigmatized, or spoken about rather than with. Through Chemstories, they take back that space — to speak for themselves, and to be heard. So thank you for listening.
The views expressed in this podcast reflect personal experiences and opinions. Chemstories addresses themes that may be sensitive for some listeners.
For a list of support resources, visit: https://qollab.ca/en/ressources-services-chemsex/
Visit our website: chemstories.ca and contact us at chemstory@espum.umontreal.ca
* “Chemsex” is a contraction of “chemical” and “sex.” It refers to the use of illicit drugs with the intention of having sex, primarily within GBTQ+ communities. It is also known as Party’n’Play (PnP).
Chemstory is a research project approved by the ethics committee of the Université de Montréal (CERSES-20-157-D). Chemstory is funded by the Canadian Institutes of Health Research. The testimonies shared in this podcast reflect individual experiences and personal opinions. Your own experiences and opinions may differ from those expressed here.
Listen on:
Episodes
Friday May 15, 2026
Friday May 15, 2026
In this second chapter of the YHZ Resilience flight, Halifax host Andrew guides Steven and James through a raw discussion on the complex intersection of trauma, shame, and recovery.
James opens up about how a strict religious upbringing led him to repress childhood abuse, and later, how chemsex became a way to enact a self-fulfilling prophecy of being "reduced to just a sex object". Steven explains how relapsing can feel doubly shameful when paired with experiences of sexual assault that occur during use, making it easier to "sweep under the rug" rather than face judgment.
The conversation shifts to the limitations of current support systems, critiquing traditional recovery models for their rigidity and lack of space to discuss sexual trauma openly. James describes finding solace in an Anonymous group initially but ultimately stepping away, finding more empowerment in personal accountability and therapy. Steven dreams of a recovery space specifically informed about chemsex.
The episode concludes with a powerful reflection on self-compassion, advising listeners to replace shame with curiosity.
If you’re looking for support, please explore our list of Chemsex resources/services.
🔗 Other Resources Mentioned
Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH)
Direction 180 : non-profit community-based opioid treatment program located in Halifax, Nova Scotia.
Thursday May 21, 2026
Thursday May 21, 2026
Halifax host Andrew introduces Harry and Hector, two older participants whose experiences challenge the typical narrative of youth and recklessness often associated with chemsex.
Hector, who began using drugs in his mid-50s after retiring, candidly discusses the unexpected slide from isolation to regular use. Harry, with a 20-year history of use, reflects on the "allure" of crystal meth—a "powerful drug" that heightened sexuality in a way no other substance could.
The conversation explores the unique dynamics of the Halifax scene compared to larger metropolitan areas. They discuss the "stigma within substances", and the challenges of managing privacy in a smaller city where everyone knows your business.
The episode also touches on intergenerational dynamics, with both guests reflecting on the transactional nature of encounters with younger men, often navigating the blurred lines between genuine attraction and the expectation of being a provider.
If you’re looking for support, please explore our list of Chemsex resources/services.
Friday May 22, 2026
Friday May 22, 2026
In this second and last segment of the YHZ Maturity flight, Halifax host Andrew concludes his conversation with Harry and Hector, focusing on the intersection of aging, HIV, and chemsex.
The guests discuss how living with HIV has evolved, with U=U (Undetectable = Untransmittable) and PrEP fundamentally changing the landscape of sexual health and intimacy. However, they note a lingering disconnect in the party community, where discussions about status are often skipped entirely in favor of antiretrovirals and substance use.
The trio also tackles the scarcity of support services in Atlantic Canada, contrasting it with the accessibility found in larger cities. They share personal strategies for maintaining balance, such as the importance of setting boundaries.
The episode wraps up with a nuanced reflection on whether they would recommend chemsex to others, balancing the undeniable pleasure and connection it offers against the risks and consequences.
If you’re looking for support, please explore our list of Chemsex resources/services.