Chemstories – a podcast about PnP/chemsex (English-language edition)

20. YUL Creativity-Pt. 4 — Body-ody-ody!

Éric, Gabriel, and Mikiki explore the body’s role in addiction and recovery. Éric shares how traditional 12-step programs failed him until he embraced drug use as a somatic experience rather than just a mental one. This shift transformed his creative process, allowing him to write from bodily intuition and move beyond past darkness. 
The group also discusses sexual intimacy after chemsex, critiquing recovery services that prescribe celibacy without guidance on reclaiming pleasure. They highlight a "somatic training" pilot project where participants explore sensation without performance pressure to re-map physical connection. The episode concludes by advocating for compassion and curiosity over fear-based drug education. 
If you’re looking for support, please explore our list of Chemsex resources/services. 

21. YUL Heritage-Pt. 1 — Hey Hugues & Jean-Sébastien

Montreal Host Éric introduces Hugues and Jean-Sébastien to discuss the intersections of queer history, community, sex and substance use. Hugues, a researcher of queer spaces, shares his experience in PnP culture viewed through a lens of strict moderation. Jean-Sébastien, founder of "Ça prend un village," discusses his transition from addiction to recovery advocacy, highlighting the power of real stories to counter fear-based narratives. 
The group explores the link between HIV diagnosis and chemsex, with Hugues revealing how he once saw crystal meth as a potential "exit strategy." Jean-Sébastien echoes this, describing using drugs to navigate downfall on his own terms. Together, they unpack the history of "poz circles" as a sanctuary for sexuality free from stigma, ultimately finding that community connection. 
If you’re looking for support, please explore our list of Chemsex resources/services.
🔗 Other Resources Mentioned 
Ça prend un village (It Takes A Village): 4 testimonials from people who share their personal stories and explain how they came to build their own crystal meth recovery village. FOR guys in recovery, made BY guys in recovery. (In French only) Relation toxique : portraits d’une dépendance (Toxic relationship: portraits of addiction): This podcast delves into the experiences of a dependent person. With testimonials from Mélanie, Jean-Sébastien, and Christian, this podcast dissects the stages of this ecstatic and devastating relationship. (In French only)PLDI : The Positive Leadership Development Institute: Organization that offers people living with HIV an opportunity to identify and develop their leadership and resilience skills in a safe environment by and for PLHIV.

22. YUL Heritage-Pt. 2 — Party Politics

Éric, Hugues, and Jean-Sébastien explore the evolution of queer spaces—from clandestine origins to modern venues centered on sensuality or sobriety. They discuss a post-COVID shift toward more diverse ways to meet and connect. 
The group delves into how sex functions as a tool for validation, often using substances to navigate the vulnerability of intimacy. Hugues frames queer joy as political resistance against heteronormativity. They conclude by examining chemsex as a "great equalizer," momentarily stripping away the competitiveness of the gay scene and offering respite from social anxiety. 
If you’re looking for support, please explore our list of Chemsex resources/services. 
🔗 Other Resources Mentioned 
The Village: Podcast by CBC Listen (2019-2025). The Village investigates unresolved — and often underreported — cases of missing and murdered individuals in queer communities across Canada and beyond.  
Unlimited intimacy: Reflections on the subculture of barebacking: Book by Dean, T. (2009). University of Chicago Press.  
The four reasons we love meth: Article by Fox, L. (2021, June 29). Medium.   

23. YUL Heritage-Pt. 3 — I Rise, We Rise

Éric, Hugues, and Jean-Sébastien discuss the community response to chemsex. Jean-Sébastien critiques treating addiction as a personal failure, advocating for a collective, skilled approach instead. They highlight gaps in healthcare systems not designed for queer lives and the need for non-judgmental spaces where people can truly be heard. 
Looking ahead, Hugues calls for sustainable solutions that honor community resilience. Jean-Sébastien addresses the ambivalence—fascination mixed with fear—surrounding chemsex, stressing honest dialogue over scare tactics. The episode concludes by emphasizing that true recovery lies in rebuilding bridges and supporting one another. 
If you’re looking for support, please explore our list of Chemsex resources/services. 
🔗 Other Resources Mentioned 
Ça prend un village (It Takes A Village): 4 testimonials from people who share their personal stories and explain how they came to build their own crystal meth recovery village. FOR guys in recovery, made BY guys in recovery. (In French only) 
The velvet rage: Overcoming the pain of growing up gay in a straight man's world (2nd ed.). Book by Downs, A. (2012). Lifelong books. 

24. YUL Plurality-Pt. 1 — Hey Ally & Michael

Montréal Host Éric introduces Ally and Michael to center gender-diverse voices in the chemsex conversation. Éric connects his drug use to his non-binary identity, discussing how gender dysphoria and a lack of affirming care can make substances a survival mechanism. Michael explains using chemsex to cope with transition-related isolation and to disconnect from bodily anxiety. Ally shares their journey from a religious background to Canada, where chemsex initially offered an escape from shame to explore identity. Together, they reflect on substance use as a temporary "solution" to a lack of validation, eventually realizing how these experiences helped them identify their authentic selves and what they needed to live truly. 
If you’re looking for support, please explore our list of Chemsex resources/services.

25. YUL Plurality-Pt. 2 — Gender Play

Éric, Ally, and Michael examine performative gender pressures. Éric used chemsex to escape hyper-masculinity while briefly embodying its "super version." Ally similarly built a masculine persona for acceptance but eventually used these experiences to peel back those layers and reject external validation. 
The group also discusses how identity impacts relationships. Michael highlights the difficulty of finding authentic connection as a trans man in hypersexualized scenes, choosing to de-center sex for his mental health. Ally emphasizes that regular partners provided a safety net, protecting her from the fetishization and risks gender-diverse people often face in anonymous settings. 
If you’re looking for support, please explore our list of Chemsex resources/services. 

26. YUL Plurality-Pt. 3 — Unapologetically

Éric, Ally, and Michael address the lack of support and visibility for gender-diverse individuals in the chemsex scene. Éric emphasizes that amplifying these rare voices is essential to breaking isolation for those who feel unseen. 
The group also critiques alienating, abstinence-only recovery models, instead celebrating the emergence of inclusive harm-reduction alternatives. They conclude by advocating for a diverse "safety net" of resources—offering multiple paths to health so fewer people fall through the cracks. 
If you’re looking for support, please explore our list of Chemsex resources/services.

27. YHZ Prelude — Why It's Important, Halifax

In this prelude to the YHZ Halifax series, this episode centers on the central question of this podcast series: Why is it important for people with lived experience of PnP/chemsex to tell their own stories in their own words? 
First, Olivier Ferlatte, the principal investigator of Chemstories, asks the question to Halifax Host Andrew who emphasizes that lived experience is a powerful tool for empathy and destigmatization. Andrew then asks the same question to his guests Steven, James, Harry and Hector whose reflections set the tone for the episodes to come. 
Together, their voices underscore that visibility is key to building a supportive community where no one has to navigate the challenges of chemsex alone. They hope their stories will not only foster personal connections but also drive the creation of more effective, compassionate policies and support systems.
If you’re looking for support, please explore our list of Chemsex resources/services. 

28. YHZ Activism — Hey Andrew

In the inaugural episode of the YHZ Halifax flights, Investigator Olivier introduces local host Andrew, whose personal journey from daily chemsex use to becoming a key advocate in Nova Scotia shapes the conversation. He candidly addresses the "internalized homophobia" often found in more rural or industrial areas of the East Coast, which can drive chemsex further underground. He discusses a desire to reclaim the narrative around chemsex in smaller cities where privacy is scarce, and stigma runs high. 
Andrew highlights the unique challenges of the Halifax scene, and the lack of dedicated support services leaves many navigating their use in isolation. The episode delves into his efforts to fill these gaps, from running pilot harm reduction projects to creating an online resource hub. Ultimately, Andrew hopes the podcast will challenge the misconception that chemsex equals a "messy" life, instead showcasing the agency, complexity, and humanity of those involved. 
If you’re looking for support, please explore our list of Chemsex resources/services. 
 
🔗 Other Resources Mentioned 
Andrew’s Web site : Coming Spring 2026 
Matthew Numer (Dalhousie University) :  
Philip Joy (Mount Saint Vincent University) :   
G-emergency Response

29. YHZ Resilience-Pt. 1 — Hey Steven & James

Halifax host Andrew opens a challenging yet necessary conversation with guests Steven and James, focusing on the intersection of chemsex, consent, and sexual trauma.
Steven, five years into recovery, shares how early experiences of sexual abuse created a "gateway" not just to substance use, but to a pattern of seeking out sexual encounters as a way to regain a sense of control. He describes how substances became tools to facilitate intimacy yet ultimately led to reliving past traumas. James explains how substances lowered his inhibitions enough to express desires that were often self-destructive, rooted in a deep sense of unworthiness.
The discussion highlights specificities of the Halifax scene, where an interconnected community means that encounters aren't truly anonymous, leading to the reality of potentially encountering people with personal connections in vulnerable settings.  
If you’re looking for support, please explore our list of Chemsex resources/services.